Twins are twins. end of story.

The Today show has been running a twin series this week. It started with a cute segment on Jenna and Barbara Bush (which is worth watching because they are so cute).  Then there was a segment on Nature vs. Nurture which looked at a set of identical twins separated at birth and two boys who were born a couple months apart and adopted by the same family (these boys are apparently called “Virtual Twins” – more on my thoughts on that in a minute).

Am I the only one who thinks a news report on Nature vs. Nurture should include more than one set of twins?  The amazing thing they discovered?  Twins are alike.  Really?  Who would have thought.

As for the Virtual Twins, they are also alike.  That’s because they are siblings.  Adopted by the same family.  Dear people of the world – Twins share a womb.  You cannot be a twin and not share a womb.  And by share, I mean SHARE as in use that same womb at the same time.  Just because you have two children who are the same age, that does not make them twins.  I get it, people want twins.  But unless you have two babies born from the same mother at the same(ish) time, you do not have twins.  Period.  I know, sometimes one is born a month before the other because of medical issues and they keep one in but that’s really rare and, let’s look at this again, they shared a WOMB.  Ugh.

Ok, anyway, continuing with the twin series, this morning I saw and article the Today show posted about “11 Ways for Parents to Celebrate their Twins’ Individuality.”

Is there really a need for this kind of article?

“Don’t call them the twins.”  You know what?  They are twins.  And that’s freaking special.  Most kids in this world don’t get to have a twin.  They don’t get to have that relationship that has a bond like no other.  Most kids would give their right arm for a twin because twins are freaking cool.  Why not celebrate the fact that they are twins?  You know what my girls do when they meet someone new?  They immediately tell them they are a twin and ask if their new friend has a twin as well.  Because they know how special it is to be a twin.  Don’t ruin that for your kids.  Embrace it. Love it.  Teach them to love it.

“Sign them up for different activities.”  Why is this even advice?  Do you make all your kids do the exact same things?  No.  But if they want to, do you let them?  Yes.

“Don’t dress them alike.”  When you have twins you have a VERY short window where you are given the ability to dress them alike yourself.  Like the first 30 months.  After that, they get opinionated and they will tell you if they want to dress alike.  So if you WANT to dress your kids alike, do it.

“Allow them to learn at their own speed.”  Again, why is this advice?  No two kids are the same, even identical twins.  We all know this.  You know what the cool thing about twins is?  They teach each other.  I have a video of Little C actually teaching Little G to crawl.  They were only 8 or 9 months old at the time.

“No need to rhyme.”  Ok, I agree with that.  Nothing annoys me more than rhyming names for twins (or using the same letter so that people will know they are twins).  But if YOU like it, go for it.  Who cares?

“Let them be themselves.”  Really?  You think you can control that?  You think you can make your kids act JUST alike?  You think you can force your kids to act differently?  Good luck.

“Spread out their firsts.”  Again, I say really?  You’re going to let one of your twins get a haircut first and make the other wait?  Do you even have twins?  No, you don’t.  Because twins are twins.  Twins like to do things together, at least mine do.  If I were to take Little G for a haircut and tell Little C she just had to wait do you know what would happen?  Pure meltdown.  Little C would feel left out and like she wasn’t as special as G.  No thank you.  I’ll let my kids experience everything they want to experience TOGETHER.  And if they don’t want to do things together, then they don’t have to.  But you cannot force kids to be different.  They are who they are.

“At The end of the day they are just like any other siblings.”  Except they’re not.  They’re twins.  And that’s special.  So don’t try to undermine their connection and their bond by saying they’re just like other siblings.  They aren’t.  They are siblings, but they’re so much MORE than that.

I skipped over parts of that article that didn’t matter much to me but as you can see, I didn’t much agree with the ways “parents” said to celebrate their twins own identities.  You know how you can celebrate your twins identities?

By letting them be themselves.


Front Door Fashion Part 2

Two months ago, I received my first box from Front Door Fashion and I LOVED it.  Absolutely loved it.  I told myself I could not order a box every month, but maybe every other month.  So when the time came I was so excited to order my second box.

I was NOT disappointed.

Honestly, it’s like Carson knows me.  She knows just how far to push me out of my comfort zone in fashion without going TOO far.  When my box came, here’s what I saw:

FDFI love that the clothes come in a garment bag.  It’s a nice touch.  As you can see, there are notes attached to each set of outfits.  The first dress I saw, I immediately loved.


So cute!  I loved the cardi with it as well.  That was easy.

The second dress was also a slam dunk.  It’s white, which is not a color I wear often so it’s not a color I own a lot of (let’s face it, I have kids and kids are messy) but it was so beautiful and by Trina Turk – one of my favorite designers.  I’ll just wear it when I’m not around the kids . Or spaghetti.  :)


Next was a pair of pants with a couple shirt options.  Carson warned me the trousers were SUPER long and would need hemmed.  THAT was an understatement (ok, probably not for most women, but I am short).  I loved the fit though so I’ll have them hemmed.  I also loved the tops.  You’ll see my look of not quite being sure of the cardi in the last pic but, honestly, I like it enough to keep it so I am.  :)  The cardigan in the FIRST pic was amazing.  It has a split back and shows the detail of the shirt.  LOVE it.


Next were a couple pairs of shorts.  The first was a simply khaki pair with a neutral shirt.  They are shorter than I usually wear but honestly, they were so comfortable that I loved them.


Next were the bright orange shorts.  This is where Carson takes me RIGHT to the edge of my comfort zone and, honestly, when I first looked at them I thought “no.”  But when I put them on with the tank, which Carson says is her favorite tank (which, honestly, is probably MY favorite tank as well, so comfortable and flattering), I was sold.  She sent another top in the same orange color as well which I like, but I’m not sure that I will wear it with those shorts, maybe with the khaki ones more often than the orange ones, but I did love it so I kept it as well.

orange short

Next I had two skirts.  I’m loving maxi dresses and maxi skirts this season and she sent me a pleated maxi skirt with two top options.  I’m short, so I definitely need to wear a heel under it but it is adorable in person and on.


Finally is the striped skirt for work.  The cut is super flattering and the black top she sent to wear with it is probably one of my favorite things from this box.  The other top is also really comfortable and I think flattering with the skirt.


Finally, jewelry.  I received two pieces of jewelry this fix.  A pair of earrings and a bracelet.  Both were in a shade of blue and both were kept.


Did you keep track?  If so, you realize I kept EVERY single item from this box.  All of it.  I loved it all.

Also, for those who are curious, I do still get a stitch fix box every three months.  I kept everything out of my most recent box, but there was one issue.  Here’s what I received:


Does anyone see the issue, other than the fact every item was blue?  No?  See that last shirt?  Now look here.  Yup, I got the exact same shirt 10 months ago from them.  I ended up keeping it again and giving it to the bestie because it was cheaper to keep it all than to send back that one thing.

What does Front Door Fashion do differently?  I think they may keep better records of what they have sent you.  Carson even referred back to my prior box and mentioned some pieces that would look good with my new pieces.  It’s definitely a more personal experience although, like I said before, I do enjoy both services greatly.

I can’t wait until it’s time to get another FDF box though!  :)

I hate mother’s day…and my birthday

I know, Mother’s Day was six days ago, but honestly, I haven’t had it in me to write anything recently.

I’m a mother and I hate Mother’s Day.  I know that sounds brutal and it doesn’t make sense.  I had my first Mother’s Day three years ago.

It was supposed to be amazing.  My first Mother’s day AND, even better, it was my BIRTHDAY.  Growing up I always loved with my birthday fell on Mother’s Day because the year I was born, it was Mother’s Day.  It doesn’t get much better than that.  So my first Mother’s Day ever falling on my birthday was supposed to be magical.

But 2 and a half hours before that Mother’s Day began, my father died.

I was.  I am my daddy’s girl.  And to say that day was devastating would be such a drastic understatement.  I don’t even remember much about that night other than getting into my husband’s truck (and forgetting my children, who were upstairs asleep.  Thankfully, my husband remembered to get them).  The drive took forever and no time at the same time.

My dad was dead before the paramedics even arrived.

I remember the next day, people wishing me a happy birthday on Facebook and every single notice made me angry.  Didn’t people know my dad was dead?  Well, no, they didn’t because I hadn’t said anything on Facebook.  After I did, the happy birthday wishes ended and the sad “I can’t believe this happened on your birthday” posts started.

So now, I hate Mother’s day and I don’t like celebrating my birthday.  Because both those things remind me of the single worst day of my life.

I need….

There are lots of things I want in my life.  I want a clean house.  I want a new king size bed (to replace the queen that gets super crowded with two kids and a husband in it with me).  I want to update my bathroom.  I want…I want…I want…

But there are things I need.  Things I need to do and learn.

I need to

  • Put away my cell phone and play with my kids.  They’re only little once and text messages can wait.
  • Make fun crafts at home with the girls.  I work so I only have a few hours a day to spend with them.
  • Spend less time worrying about cleaning and more time making messes with my kids.
  • Listen to my girls wants.  And whenever possible, do what they want instead of what I think is “right.”
  • Be a better mom.

Now the truth is, most of my friends reading this will read that last one and say “No, you are a great mom.”  I may be.  But don’t we all have room for improvement?  If we run ourselves ragged trying to do this and do that and make practices and cook dinner and everything else in the world, when do we spend time with those little people that we so greatly wanted and that we created?

This morning, as we got ready for daycare, I realized I was spending too much time worrying about what the girls were going to wear.  They didn’t want to wear this shirt or that shirt or those pants or those shoes.  Finally, instead of dictating what they were going to do I listened to them.  I listened as Little C said she wanted to wear her purple high heels (that match her Rapunzel dress).  Ok I finally said.  You can wear them.  She giggled in excitement and took off running to the shoe chest.  Little G asked if she could wear high heels too so of course I said yes, as I put extra shoes in a bag to take to daycare.  When I next turned around I saw Cinderella and Rapunzel standing before me.  The twins had changed not just their shoes, but also their clothes and put on dress up clothes.

“Mommy?” Little C said quietly.  “Can I be ‘Punzel at school?”

So today, I let my princesses go to school as princesses.  Step one in listening and being a better mom.


I love clothes

Have I mentioned before how much I love clothes?  Like seriously LOVE them.  I have a closet full.  In fact, my closet was SO full at one point one of the rods broke and the husband and I had to actually tear down everything and redesign it.

However, I do not WEAR all of my clothes.  I have a few pieces, mostly in dark colors, that I wear all the time.  A long time ago, I signed up for Stitch Fix. I like Stitch Fix a lot because you receive 5 items in the cost range of your choice and returns are super easy.  You can read about a lot of my Stitch Fixes here.

However, if you clicked on that link above, you’ll see I haven’t written about a single Stitch Fix since July of 2014.  I am still receiving them.  I just haven’t had very many amazing boxes in about 8 months.  There’s nothing WRONG with them.  In fact, I think I keep a few items from every box.  But it hasn’t been anything to blog about.

Then I tried Keaton Row.  Keaton Row was a little different.  You requested look books from a stylist and then you would purchase what you liked from your book.  I purchased a few items out of my first book but I haven’t requested one since.  It seemed like too much work for me.  I like just getting a big box of clothes and going through it.

So, the other day I saw an ad for Front Door Fashion.  So I thought I would try it.  I took time filling out my profile and I was contacted fairly quickly by my stylist, Carson.  She asked some questions, asked to see pics of me, and then, as she put together my box, she even emailed me to see if I might like something she thought would look good on me but I had indicated I wasn’t a huge fan of.  I told her to send it on.

I am SO glad she contacted me to see if I would want it instead of skipping it because of what I said on my profile.  Today I received this box:


It was a lot bigger than the Stitch Fix boxes I was used to.  It came UPS instead of USPS like the Stitch Fix boxes and a signature was required (so I had it sent to my work address).  I was even more pleasantly surprised to open the box and see this:


Yes, the clothes are shipped inside a garment bag.  And are on hangers.  Which is a good thing because I recently threw out every extra hanger in my house.  I wish I had taken more pics as I unboxed but, quite frankly, I was so freaking excited when I saw the VERY FIRST dress that I just started throwing the clothes on my body.  So, when you open your garment bag, you have outfits which are put together for you.  There’s a handwritten note from your stylist (I like that personal touch) along with a packing slip.  I’m glad I looked more closely at it than I thought I would because each outfit grouping is listed separately and the stylist puts a note about each set.

Set one she called Pops of Color and it is the dress she ALMOST didn’t send me, along with a blazer.  It’s absolutely beautiful (please ignore my super white legs in these pics, I have not been out in the sun since October).


Really, how beautiful is that dress?  And the blazer on top of it?  I wish I had ordered my box sooner!

The next set was called Pencil Skirt Perfection.  Pencil skirts are awesome because they show off curves so perfectly on everyone.  For this she sent a couple options.  The skirt, an eggplant colored tunic, a chevron infinity scarf, a navy blouse and a chain tassel necklace.  I didn’t get a pic of the necklace but I am already wearing it so obviously I love it.  Carson warned me the tunic looked a little scary on the hanger….she was right.  But on?  SO cute.


That’s it with the infinity scarf.  Next I tried it on with the navy top and, as she suggested, I added the cream colored blazer that she sent with the dress in Pops of Color.


She also recommended shoes for the outfits with a shoe card that was enclosed. I know I will be referring to her ideas all the time.

The next set was called Casually Sophisticated.  This is the only set that I had problems with but it wasn’t because of what she sent at all.  Enclosed were white jeans, a mint scarf (no pic but I love it), a Blue long sleeve top, a green short sleeve top and a belt (no pic again but again I love it).  The jeans were just too tight on me.  Here are two pics – the Jeans with both tops.


My thighs look HUGE.  I’m working on making them smaller so maybe soon.  The jeans are going back.  I liked the green shirt but I have one almost identical in my closet so I decided to send it back as well.  The blue top, totally keeping.  I love it.  So, going back are the jeans and the green top.

Next is the Date Night set.  I was so excited to see this dress because I am a HUGE fan of Trina Turk.  I LOVE TT fabrics and designs and I always think the TT clothes look so fun.  This dress is totally fun.  She paired it with a very thin black cardigan which I originally thought “Oh, I have tons of those, I don’t need this one” but I loved the way it draped on me so it’s staying in my closet as well.


And, believe it or not, there is still ONE MORE SET.  This is Blue is the New Black  Carson sent me a very cute skirt in a midnight blue color, a sleeveless top in Mist, a multicolored jacket and a dark burgundy cowl neck top.  Once I got these pieces on I wanted to have Carson come move in with me and take care of all my clothing needs for the rest of my life.  Ok, that’s a little dramatic, but I will DEFINITELY use her to style me for as long as she does this job.

154 153


So, overall, my first trip into the world of Front Door Fashion was a HUGE success.  At least, in regards to the items I received and I want to keep….my purse, however, is probably going to be angry.  However, they do send you items based on your budget.

As a direct comparison to Stitch Fix, I feel like FDF has more top name labels.  The cost is more, but the quality is better.  I’d rather have a few higher quality pieces than a ton of lesser quality pieces that I don’t feel as good in.  SF gives style cards to show you how to style the pieces they send with pieces you may already have, which is cool, but I love how FDF sends entire outfits so there is no guess work.  If Carson says this looks good together, it looks good together.  End of story.  ;)

I do recommend both services.  I like how personalized FDF is but it is an expense.  I wasn’t surprised by the cost of any of the items in my box though (except the fact the belt she sent was only $15 and the infinity scarf was only $18, but those were, of course, nice surprises).  Now the only thing left to do is get a tan, slim down my legs a little, and send back the two items I’ve decided not to keep.

Not a bad day of shopping at all.  :)

The Ring Has Changed

When my husband proposed to me on his birthday in 2006, he did so with a beautiful diamond solitaire.  It was not huge.  It was, however, perfect.  He picked it out just for me, deciding what he thought most resembled us.  A perfect round solitaire.

Round.  A circle.  Much like a wedding ring.  No beginning and no end.  Everlasting.

We weren’t “young” when we got married but we weren’t “old” either.  We were in our late 20s.  We had both seen a lot in our lives.  I had gone to college and law school.  I had lived in a few different cities and states.  I had traveled enough that I didn’t feel the overwhelming desire to never be home.  He had gone to college.  He had entered the Air Force.  He had lived in far more places than I had (and, in fact, when we were dating, engaged and during our first 17 months of marriage, he lived completely across the country from me, in Alaska).  When we started dating people called us crazy.  When we got engaged, people thought we were insane.  I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times people told me we would never last with him living so far away.

But the truth was, the distance didn’t matter.  I mean, it sucked, but we had an end date.  We knew exactly what day he was coming home.  We had enough income (and vacation time) to see each other every 8 to 10 weeks, with me flying to him two out of every three times.  Those 17 months didn’t fly by, but they didn’t last forever either.  Then he was home.

Six and a half years ago, he came home.  4 years ago today I found out I was pregnant.  Less than a month later, we found out we were having twins.  Things changed because, well, things change.  We both grew up quickly because now there were two additional lives we had to take care of.

I look back at all we’ve been through and I think about that ring he put on my finger back in 2006.  It truly has changed.  The diamond remained the same but it’s no longer a solitaire on my finger.  Instead it’s in a new setting, surrounded by more diamonds.  Just like our life.  Our perfect little round circle has grown.

We aren’t perfect.  We fight.  There are days we don’t really talk to one another because there’s nothing to say.  But the circle is still there.  And it is still perfect.  It never ends, even if everything around it changes.

The ring has changed, but the diamond….what makes us US…remains the

The Woman Wars

This isn’t about moms (well, not directly).

This is about women.

Seriously, WHAT is wrong with us?  Why must we beat each other down just to make ourselves feel better?  Why can’t we just accept other women’s choices and say “Good for her for doing what she wants!” Rather than saying “Oh My GAWD, did you hear what she DID?”

Now, if what she did was cheat on her perfectly nice husband, I might take part in that conversation.  I am not without a gossipy moment or two in my life.

But what if she did something to make herself feel better about herself?

Would you say something negative about someone if she got a haircut?  Or dyed her hair?  Or got a mani/pedi?

Of course not.

But would you say something about someone who had plastic surgery?  What if someone had a “mommy makeover”?  What if they told you that in confidence?  Would you then tell everyone you know and make fun of them?

I wouldn’t.  But apparently some people do.

Locally, someone had plastic surgery.  She had a few things tightened and lifted.  Nothing you would notice.  In fact, when I see her, I can’t tell.  But let’s face it, she did not have this surgery for me.  She had it for herself.  And you know what?  I think that’s great.

Also, locally, some people are whispering quietly about it.  “Did you know she had THAT done?”

Really?  Are we all so shallow that we think doing something to make oneself feel better is a sin?

I get my hair dyed to cover the grays.  Does anyone whisper about that?  I doubt it.  I get my hair cut ever 8 weeks.  Is that an offense worth whispering about?  Nope.  I had a pedicure over the weekend….the horror of it all.

You know what I would say if the subject came up between me and this woman?  I would ask her how she feels, how it went and where she got it done, just in case I decide in the future I want that twin skin tucked back in.  And if I had no interest in the subject, I just wouldn’t say anything.

Because THAT is the right thing to do.  gossip