The Today show has been running a twin series this week. It started with a cute segment on Jenna and Barbara Bush (which is worth watching because they are so cute). Then there was a segment on Nature vs. Nurture which looked at a set of identical twins separated at birth and two boys who were born a couple months apart and adopted by the same family (these boys are apparently called “Virtual Twins” – more on my thoughts on that in a minute).
Am I the only one who thinks a news report on Nature vs. Nurture should include more than one set of twins? The amazing thing they discovered? Twins are alike. Really? Who would have thought.
As for the Virtual Twins, they are also alike. That’s because they are siblings. Adopted by the same family. Dear people of the world – Twins share a womb. You cannot be a twin and not share a womb. And by share, I mean SHARE as in use that same womb at the same time. Just because you have two children who are the same age, that does not make them twins. I get it, people want twins. But unless you have two babies born from the same mother at the same(ish) time, you do not have twins. Period. I know, sometimes one is born a month before the other because of medical issues and they keep one in but that’s really rare and, let’s look at this again, they shared a WOMB. Ugh.
Ok, anyway, continuing with the twin series, this morning I saw and article the Today show posted about “11 Ways for Parents to Celebrate their Twins’ Individuality.”
Is there really a need for this kind of article?
“Don’t call them the twins.” You know what? They are twins. And that’s freaking special. Most kids in this world don’t get to have a twin. They don’t get to have that relationship that has a bond like no other. Most kids would give their right arm for a twin because twins are freaking cool. Why not celebrate the fact that they are twins? You know what my girls do when they meet someone new? They immediately tell them they are a twin and ask if their new friend has a twin as well. Because they know how special it is to be a twin. Don’t ruin that for your kids. Embrace it. Love it. Teach them to love it.
“Sign them up for different activities.” Why is this even advice? Do you make all your kids do the exact same things? No. But if they want to, do you let them? Yes.
“Don’t dress them alike.” When you have twins you have a VERY short window where you are given the ability to dress them alike yourself. Like the first 30 months. After that, they get opinionated and they will tell you if they want to dress alike. So if you WANT to dress your kids alike, do it.
“Allow them to learn at their own speed.” Again, why is this advice? No two kids are the same, even identical twins. We all know this. You know what the cool thing about twins is? They teach each other. I have a video of Little C actually teaching Little G to crawl. They were only 8 or 9 months old at the time.
“No need to rhyme.” Ok, I agree with that. Nothing annoys me more than rhyming names for twins (or using the same letter so that people will know they are twins). But if YOU like it, go for it. Who cares?
“Let them be themselves.” Really? You think you can control that? You think you can make your kids act JUST alike? You think you can force your kids to act differently? Good luck.
“Spread out their firsts.” Again, I say really? You’re going to let one of your twins get a haircut first and make the other wait? Do you even have twins? No, you don’t. Because twins are twins. Twins like to do things together, at least mine do. If I were to take Little G for a haircut and tell Little C she just had to wait do you know what would happen? Pure meltdown. Little C would feel left out and like she wasn’t as special as G. No thank you. I’ll let my kids experience everything they want to experience TOGETHER. And if they don’t want to do things together, then they don’t have to. But you cannot force kids to be different. They are who they are.
“At The end of the day they are just like any other siblings.” Except they’re not. They’re twins. And that’s special. So don’t try to undermine their connection and their bond by saying they’re just like other siblings. They aren’t. They are siblings, but they’re so much MORE than that.
I skipped over parts of that article that didn’t matter much to me but as you can see, I didn’t much agree with the ways “parents” said to celebrate their twins own identities. You know how you can celebrate your twins identities?
By letting them be themselves.