When my husband proposed to me on his birthday in 2006, he did so with a beautiful diamond solitaire. It was not huge. It was, however, perfect. He picked it out just for me, deciding what he thought most resembled us. A perfect round solitaire.
Round. A circle. Much like a wedding ring. No beginning and no end. Everlasting.
We weren’t “young” when we got married but we weren’t “old” either. We were in our late 20s. We had both seen a lot in our lives. I had gone to college and law school. I had lived in a few different cities and states. I had traveled enough that I didn’t feel the overwhelming desire to never be home. He had gone to college. He had entered the Air Force. He had lived in far more places than I had (and, in fact, when we were dating, engaged and during our first 17 months of marriage, he lived completely across the country from me, in Alaska). When we started dating people called us crazy. When we got engaged, people thought we were insane. I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times people told me we would never last with him living so far away.
But the truth was, the distance didn’t matter. I mean, it sucked, but we had an end date. We knew exactly what day he was coming home. We had enough income (and vacation time) to see each other every 8 to 10 weeks, with me flying to him two out of every three times. Those 17 months didn’t fly by, but they didn’t last forever either. Then he was home.
Six and a half years ago, he came home. 4 years ago today I found out I was pregnant. Less than a month later, we found out we were having twins. Things changed because, well, things change. We both grew up quickly because now there were two additional lives we had to take care of.
I look back at all we’ve been through and I think about that ring he put on my finger back in 2006. It truly has changed. The diamond remained the same but it’s no longer a solitaire on my finger. Instead it’s in a new setting, surrounded by more diamonds. Just like our life. Our perfect little round circle has grown.
We aren’t perfect. We fight. There are days we don’t really talk to one another because there’s nothing to say. But the circle is still there. And it is still perfect. It never ends, even if everything around it changes.