The Wedding

My BFF got married on Friday.  I was, of course, the matron of honor.  Which meant I had to give a speech.

In my normal fashion, I forgot my notes.  I did remember a lot of the speech but I forgot some.  SO I pulled out my notes this morning so I could put here what I meant to say there.  Actually, I’m quite proud of how much I DID remember.  Here’s the toast I meant to give:

I think I speak for everyone when I say FINALLY.  Quite frankly, a year ago when Angie told me she was going to marry Ben, I thought “Sure you are.”  You see, about three years ago she told me she simply wasn’t the marrying kind.  Marriage wasn’t for her.  It just wouldn’t work.  I’m really happy right now that she proved herself, and me, wrong.  Because if anyone can make Angie the marrying kind, it’s Ben.

We’ve been friends for almost two decades.  That’s a long time to maintain a friendship.  And it’s hard.  There are ups and downs, like in every relationship.  There are the good times, like when we accidentally set things on fire.  And there are the bad times, like when we acted like the high schoolers we were and fought over, what else?  Boys.  But throughout it all, she and I have been able to make our friendship work.

And friendships are a lot like a marriage, just without the paperwork.  A lot of people are going to give you all marital advice today, and probably for the next 50 years.  It’s all great advice, really.  But marriages are not one size fit all.  Every wedding I’ve been to has included “Don’t go to bed angry” in the toast.  But you know what?  If you need to, go to bed angry.  Give yourself that time.  If you need to leave the house for a few hours or a day, you do it.  Ben, Angie will be in my guest room if that happens.  I’ll let you in to talk to her, even if she tells me not to.  The only people in this room who know and understand your relationship are the two of you.  Enjoy that.  It’s your own little secret.

Angie has grown a lot in the past few years.  And I think I speak for her mother, and my mother, and Whit’s mother and all the other mothers who gave us advice on how to live growing up when I say you have done it.  You’ve become the woman that they all hoped you would be.  And I am so proud of you.

There’s family we are born into and there’s family we choose.  And I think that this time, you did good.  Your new family, your chosen family, is perfect.


There it is.  The speech I meant to give.  Maybe next time I won’t forget my notes (not next time for Angie, just next time….I also forgot my notes when I was Whitney’s maid of honor).


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