Little G and Little C have been inseparable since birth. They sleep in the same room (different beds because, according to little C, “G snores!” and according to G “C moves around too much!”), they dress similar by choice now, they like to play with the same toys. They are rarely apart. A few times I’ve taken one to the store and left the other with her daddy but for the most part, they are together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And that is how they like it.
I wrote here a month ago about Little C becoming jealous of Little G’s new friend. I didn’t know at the time how bad it would get. After that day I started noticing a change in C’s behavior. She was more clingy, she didn’t want to go to school anymore, she would cry more. She wasn’t sleeping well.
She was sad. And anxious.
Daycare contacted me. “Have you noticed a change in C’s behavior?” So we talked about that. She was also acting anxious at school. She would only play with one other person, she wanted her teacher to hold her all the time. She would watch G play with her new friend, R, but wouldn’t try to play with anyone else. Also, I was told, R is mean. Not to G, but she’s mean.
I was also told that R would not be at the daycare anymore after Friday.
Over the weekend we spent a lot of time positively reinforcing the twin dynamic and their relationship. “G, who is your best friend?” and she would immediately respond “C is my best friend!” and “C, do you want to play with G at school on Monday?” C would nod frantically at the mention of playing with her sister. We encouraged them to hug, hold hands and tell each other they loved each other.
Then I started noticing Little C seeking acceptance for everything. “Do you like my shoes mommy?” “Yes, C, I love your shoes.” “you DO!?!?” And “G, do you like my dress?” “Yes.” “You DO?!?!”
I think my daughter may have been bullied by another child. My 2 year old. And that other child was her sister’s “friend.” And I’m also afraid that her sister helped with the bullying.
I don’t think they KNEW they were doing it. R was only 3.5 years old and G is only 2.5. But they did it. And now C is seeing acceptance for everything. Her shoes, her pants, her shirts, her HAIR. She asks us over and over if we like her things and when we say yes she get so excited and seems so…amazed that we actually like whatever it is that she’s asking about in that moment.
Yesterday was the first day at daycare without R. And the teachers told me C had a much better day. She also had a much better NIGHT last night. So now we continue to move forward with the girls, teaching them that they are special and that they are important to each other.
I don’t know how we will handle this as they get older. But anxiety in a 2 year old is not fun.