At least once a week I hear the same thing: “You make having twins look so easy!” and “You make it look like everyone should have twins.”
Every time I hear this I think “What? Are you crazy? I don’t make this look easy! It’s not easy!”
But, honestly, I know why people say this. I’ve been lucky. When I take the girls out in public, they are almost always on their best behavior. And if they aren’t, it only takes a second for them to stop whatever they are doing that I don’t want them to do. Twice we’ve taken them out to eat and they’ve thrown fits that were harder to control – both times it was because of abnormally slow service resulting in hungry and tired toddlers.
I can’t be the only person who thinks if a family with very small children enter a restaurant, their meals should be expedited to avoid any major meltdowns.
All this ended on Saturday. For the first time ever, when I had my girls out in public, I felt like people were staring at us and I was not in control. You see, family friends had a vow renewal so I dressed the girls up, dressed myself up, and went with my mom to the church. The husband stayed home. There were a couple of minor meltdowns while we waited on the ceremony to begin. Once during the ceremony, Little G yelled out “I pinched myself!” after pinching herself. Everyone got a good laugh. Then a stranger tried to pick her up and she screamed. Oh, she screamed loudly and like she was scared to death.
Then we headed to the reception. It all went down hill from there.
The girls were ok at first, when it wasn’t super crowded (we were some of the first people to the reception hall). But as more people showed up, the girls got more and more uncomfortable. I don’t know why they have this problem in crowds but they get nervous. I think they get it from their daddy.
Then their cousins arrived. They love their cousins. Absolutely. BUT when in crowds, when afraid they might lose sight of me, they don’t want anyone else to touch them or to be in their faces other than me (or their daddy). Cousin H and Cousin O can’t help it though – they just want to hug and hold the twins.
Little C was having molar issues – her teeth were killing her so she was uncomfortable and in pain. And every time H or O got down to talk to her she screamed. She threw herself on the floor, kicking and screaming and crying. I took her outside and gave her some advil. But it takes a little while for advil to kick in. So the crying continued.
Little G was ok but every time I picked up Little C and tried to keep her calm, G would cry out “Mommy! I want mommy!”
People stared. One woman very loudly (because she wanted me to hear it) said “She should NOT have those kids here.” Normally I would have said something smart back but instead I asked my sister to help me take the girls to the car so we could go home.
I feel like if I had had more help – if their dad had been able to be there – it would have been different and the girls would have been ok. But there are definitely times when I cannot do this alone. I think I’ve probably set myself up for this to happen though. I’ve always believed I could take them wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted, even if I was by myself. The truth is, sometimes I need help.
I do not, however, need help from strangers because that makes it even worse on my kids. If you are a stranger and the parent does not ask you to help – just don’t. NEVER try to pick up someone else’s child without permission. I will never understand why people do that.
Anyway, the next day, the girls were back to their happy, beautiful selves. We played all day, we went out, everything was normal. Yesterday was easy. I deserved it after Saturday though.