Your Actions = Someone Else’s Consequences

Don’t drink and drive.

Even typing that I roll my eyes because HONESTLY who in this world thinks drinking and driving could be a good idea?

You see, 7 years ago I married into an amazing family.  I grew up with just one sibling so this new family was so exciting for me.  I gained a father in law (FIL), a mother in law (MIL), a husband, a sister in law (SIL) and two brothers in law (BIL1 and BIL2), all of whom made my husband’s family.  I also gained SIL2, who was married to BIL1, BIL3 who is married to SIL, and a step nephew in law (son of SIL2).  I gained NINE family members.  This doesn’t even include the grandmothers and aunts and uncles and cousins.

That same year I also gained ANOTHER nephew, the son of BIL1 and SIL2.

At that time, hubby was in the military, stationed in Alaska.  For the next 17 months he was gone.  But when he came home I really learned how awesome a huge family is.  It’s loud.  It’s chaotic.

It’s fun.

I couldn’t have asked for better in laws.  In 2008 we had a huge family Christmas.  Great food, lots of presents, family pictures.  SO MUCH FUN.  I can even remember thinking the day after that Christmas how excited I was for another 50 Christmases just like that (because, you know, of course my FIL and MIL would live to be more than a century old).

That January, hubby and I bought a house.  FIL, MIL and BIL2 came to help us move in.  That weekend was so much fun.  My family was here helping as well and it was just…fun.  Moving was fun.  I never thought I would say that, but it was.

That Sunday, FIL and BIL2 left to head home.  Home and then to their second home – FIL’s work had transferred him to the town where BIL2 was going to college.  They left Sunday Morning.

Super Bowl Sunday.

They stopped at their home and did a few things – shoveled the driveway because we’d had a big snow, did their laundry, cleaned the house a little so when MIL got home the next day she wouldn’t have to do it.  She was staying with us one more night.

I still remember everything from that night.  We were watching the Super Bowl and talking to BIL2 via text about the game.  They called to tell us where they were at one point.  Less than an hour to go.

An hour passed.  MIL called FIL.  No answer.  I texted BIL2.  No response.

Another half hour.  Still nothing.

Another hour.

MIL was getting frantic.  We started making excuses.  “They probably pulled off to watch the rest of the game.”  Or “They left their phones in the car.”

“If they were in an accident, one of them would have called,” I remember  MIL saying as I grabbed the phone and started making calls.

You see, we had just moved.  We had no internet.  And 5 years ago, we didn’t have smartphones.   I used the phone book and called the state police.  Of course, I got the most local office – in McDowell County, WV, where the dispatcher told me “Well, if they’re up in the northern part of the state we wouldn’t know anything.”  It was like pulling teeth to get another number out of them.  And the one they gave me didn’t work anyway.

I called my best friend.  She found me every state police dispatch number she could.  And I started calling them.

I finally hit the right number.  This dispatch told me yes, there had been an accident on the interstate and she would have someone call me back.  She took my name, number, address, the names of the people I was looking for and the type of vehicle they were in.  Sometime in this I had texted BIL2’s on-again-off-again girlfriend (off, but very good friends at the time).  She called me to say she saw on the news there was a bad wreck and where should she go.

I told her to stay put until I called her back.

I called mom.  She called my sister and had her husband head to my house because she knew none of us could drive if we had to head to a hospital.

It felt like hours.  Days even.  But the phone rang minutes later.

“There was an accident,” the officer told me.  “A vehicle was travelling south in the northbound lanes of the interstate.  Your FIL and BIL were struck head on.”

“Which hospital?” I asked.

“There were no survivors in the white SUV,” He said.

“No,” I responded.  “Which hospital?”

MIL was standing there, staring at me.  Hubby was looking at me with keys in his hand, ready to load us into the car.

“Ma’am, they weren’t transported to the hospital.  They were both dead on arrival.”

I hit the floor.  Hubby took the phone as I said “They’re both gone.”  I had to call my SIL to tell her.  Then I had to call BIL2’s friend.  I had to tell my (new) family that we had just lost two members.

The facts of what happened didn’t come out until later.  To this day, the state police maintain that our version of the facts, which have been verified my independent investigators, are not what happened.

The state police say my FIL got off the interstate and when he got back on, somehow he came on the northbound lanes the wrong way and was travelling south in the far left hand lane.  According to them, HE struck the other vehicle because he was unfamiliar with the road.

The truth is, FIL and BIL2 were travelling in the left hand lane, going north in the northbound lanes on a road they had driven almost every weekend for three and a half years.  Up ahead, a 26 year old male who had been drinking at an area Applebees made a u-turn on the interstate.  A long distance trucker witnessed this u-turn and called 911 saying “He’s going to kill someone.”  This 26 year old male hit my FIL and BIL2 head on.  We don’t know if his headlights were on or not, we assume not (because had FIL seen headlights coming at him, he would have swerved).  The police said the impact was such they were unable to determine if his headlights were on.  I asked if they checked the knob which turns them on and the question was ignored.

This 26 year old hit my FIL and BIL2 head on.  Their car burst into flames moments later.  People on the scene couldn’t get them out of the vehicle but it was too late anyway.  The force of the impact was too much.  The 26 year old was thrown from his vehicle.  Witnesses say there were empty and full beer bottles throughout the cab of his vehicle.  He was transported via med flight to a hospital 30 minutes from where the accident occurred.  He survived 10 days before he finally succumbed to his injuries.  His blood alcohol level after reaching the hospital (after IVs had been administered in flight) was 0.16.  There is no telling what it was at the time of impact.

Although I have more evidence to support the fact a drunk driver killed my family, I won’t go into it here.

So, it’s Super Bowl Sunday.

Don’t drink and drive.

Please don’t take away any more of my family or any one else’s family members.

Because of one man’s senseless actions, my daughters will never know their wonderful grandfather and amazing uncle.

There are better ways to kill yourself.

This is my FIL and BIL2, just a few months before the accident.

I still can’t believe they are gone.

Five Years and it feels like yesterday.